Room Conversation , Vṛndāvana , 1977-11-10

Prabhupāda: I wish that you GBC manage very nicely and consider that I am dead and let me try to travel all the tīrthasthāna, without any responsibility. If I become recovered from this malady, I shall come back and then I shall die anyway. What is that, when the dead body is there, let them bring to Māyāpur and Vṛndāvana. I am thinking in this way. Bring little medicine and no medicine, little milk, and travel one place to another, and if there is death, what is the lamentation? My age is ripe. In the open air and bullock cart or during daytime, eh? Or you can say civil suicide. Although living, but consider me dead for the time being. You manage, and nowadays there is in India ample sunshine. So during daytime I shall travel, and nighttime you make a camp under a tree. In this way let me travel all the tīrthasthāna. I am thinking in this way. What is your opinion?

Bhavānanda: Śrīla Prabhupāda, we promise that we'll manage everything to the best of our ability.

Prabhupāda: No, no, you are managing, I know, but you are all important men, and unnecessarily you are bound up. You cannot go. So Lokanātha party has got some experience, and let me go. In India the climate is now good. If I recover, it is very good. You know. So what is the wrong? If I die, then the body will be brought either in Vṛndāvana or Māyāpur, that's all. And if I live, it will be a great end of a life. You are all experienced.

Jayapatāka: As much as you have trained us, Śrīla Prabhupāda, that is only how much we are experienced. We don't want that you be burdened any more with material management problems, but serving your...

Prabhupāda: No, not from that point of view. What is the use of lying down here?

Jayapatāka: The kavirāja said...

Prabhupāda: Kavirāja may say...

Jayapatāka: ...that even that your body is going to..., is got a life of six to ten years, but he said even a healthy cow, if it's kept locked up inside of a room, then it will deteriorate.

Prabhupāda: And therefore I say, [laughs] don't keep me locked up. You do your duty as I have trained you, and let me be free, and if money required, he'll come and take and go back again as he is coming to take book.

Jayapatāka: What?

Prabhupāda: They have got experience, Indian, you can go village to village and, arrangement as you may, but it is trouble taken, and I am no longer. You manage. If I live, I can come again. I shall be very glad.

Devotee: Previously it was mentioned that there was some risk in traveling.

Prabhupāda: What is that risk? Nowadays there is no risk. What is the risk? Mm?

Devotee: Well, from the medical point of view it's something with the organs or something, I don't know exactly, but it's been considered.

Prabhupāda: This is my proposal, and...

Jayapatāka: That would be after you gained some strength, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: Yes. If I free air and free movement, why some change? And I can come back again in a year.

Jayapatāka: You will be translating while you're traveling?

Prabhupāda: No. Yes and no.

Bhavānanda: I think it's good idea, Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: Ha.

Bhavānanda: Only factor at this point is not to take any unnecessary risk.

Prabhupāda: No. Freedom. As I think free, so I remain. Mm. Then when I am sane man, I shall come back again, either Māyāpur or Vṛndāvana or Bombay, any other.

Jayapatāka: You would travel by a minibus.

Prabhupāda: Mm?

Jayapatāka: You would travel by a bus.

Prabhupāda: That you think of.

Bhavānanda: We'll all sit down and discuss the different arrangements that have to be made, plans that have to be made. It's a very nice idea. Real sannyāsa life.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Mm. You have tried doctor, kavirāja, medicine---everything. Everything has failed. Now suppose I am taking the risk of death, what is wrong? When the..., I am dead, you go India, within India, you go and bring the body either in Māyāpur or Vṛndāvana. Māyāpur the land is already there. Vṛndāvana I think on the gate side, that's all. That's wherever you like you'll do.

Jayapatāka: Śrīla Prabhupāda, you commented that when Ṭhākura Bhaktivinoda was put on the gate side that that was no way to respect a Vaiṣṇava.

Prabhupāda: Mm.

Jayapatāka: So then doesn't seem proper to put you by the gate.

Prabhupāda: No, not by the gate. There is ample land. Or in Māyāpur, that will be very nice. Mm.

Jayapatāka: This kavirāja assures that by taking little milk frequently during the day...

Prabhupāda: I will take milk. Milk is available everywhere. [laughter] I shall take little milk and sleep, that's all. If I live, that's all right. If I don't live, that doesn't matter.

Bhavānanda: Very nice program. We can all accompany you at different times of the month.

Prabhupāda: Yes. Not very many, but you can come and go back.

Jayapatāka: Which holy places you would like to visit, Śrīla Prabhupāda?

Prabhupāda: India is full of holy places.

Jayapatāka: Kṛṣṇa-līlā, Mahāprabhu-līlā.

Prabhupāda: And gradually you go to Māyāpur. Is Tamāla here?

Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda.

Prabhupāda: I...

Bhavānanda: He has heard everything.

Prabhupāda: Mm.

Jayapatāka: By you going to the holy places, you will purify the holy places.

Prabhupāda: There are two things = life or death. So if I die, where is the wrong? And if there is death, that is natural.

Jayapatāka: For you, Śrīla Prabhupāda, to be alive or to die is no different because you are in the transcendental position, but for us, when you leave the body then we are bereft of your association. So for us it is very unfortunate.

Prabhupāda: You live by my words, by my training. Mm. [pause] So you like this idea? Mm?

Haṁsadūta: I liked it.

Prabhupāda: Who is it?

Adri-dhāraṇa: It's Haṁsadūta Mahārāja.

Prabhupāda: Ah. [pause] [break] Most cases you beg from the local place and subsist; otherwise purchase.

Jayapatāka: You are very famous, Śrīla Prabhupāda. Wherever you go there will be crowds of people to have your darśana.

Prabhupāda: So they will see me; I have no objection. I want little milk from them, that's all. [pause] So far my presence is required, management, I think I have bequeathed; properly you can manage. Hmm. It is to be admitted failure, the so-called medical treatment. Failure. [pause]

Jayapatāka: All the doctors say that you defy all medical laws. Sometimes you become very weak, and sometimes you become immediately strong. [pause]

Girirāja: I think this is a good idea.

Prabhupāda: Who is this?

Devotee: Girirāja.

Prabhupāda: Hmm?

Girirāja: Girirāja.

Prabhupāda: Ah.

Girirāja: Because, I mean, I don't have any faith in the doctors or their treatments because they're never working, and ultimately it depends on Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa is everywhere. He can exercise His will in any condition, and you know, as you say, that if you go out and if you recover then it's very good. And even otherwise, I mean if that is the decision of Lord Kṛṣṇa, then this is a very glorious way. [pause]

Prabhupāda: All seriously consider this submission and let me go. [pause] [end]