Room Conversation , Vṛndāvana , 1977-10-26
[Haṁsadūta leading loud kīrtana in background]
Prabhupāda: So this makara-dhvaja, I think not acting.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: It's not acting? How can you tell so soon?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: How can you tell so soon?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: How are you able to tell so soon after taking? Wouldn't it take a few days to feel the results?
Prabhupāda: Things are deteriorating.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You can feel that? You can feel things deteriorated? In what respect, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Weakness.
Bhavānanda: But, Śrīla Prabhupāda, you've been sitting up now for almost forty-five minutes.
Śatadhanya: I think this is the first time that Your Divine Grace has sat up for such a long time.
Bhavānanda: And also this morning you were making effort to move your legs, which you've never done since I've been here. I was thinking... Of course... Just from my observation, I was thinking that you were feeling a little bit stronger today. And Śatadhanya Mahārāja also thought that you were appearing to be stronger. Usually you're not able to sit up for such a long period of time, and you're sitting up by yourself. Usually you lean on my hand for support. But this morning you're...
Śatadhanya: In fact, we all said the same thing.
Śatadhanya: We all were thinking the same thing, that you look stronger, a little bit. [indistinct background comments]
Bhavānanda: And also, Śrīla Prabhupāda, your suggestion that you wanted to go on parikramā, we also thought, was an indication that you must be feeling a little stronger. In initial stage of taking this medicine, it has to take some time before it even can begin to equalize a deteriorating situation, what to speak of making positive gains in strength. The medicine first has to act to stop the deterioration. Even that takes some time. Then, once it's equalized and maintain that, then it has to..., then it will work to build the body. If you're feeling, though, that you're deteriorating condition, then perhaps we shouldn't go on the parikramā this morning.
Prabhupāda: No, parikramā I shall go.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Śrīla Prabhupāda? You expected to immediately get some result by taking this makara-dhvaja? [pause]
Prabhupāda: I am already puzzled. [indistinct]
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You said you're puzzled, Śrīla Prabhupāda? You said you're puzzled?
Prabhupāda: Ātreya Ṛṣi?
Ātreya Ṛṣi: Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: I am puzzled.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: If you continue to desire to live, Śrīla Prabhupāda... If you continue to desire to live, then Kṛṣṇa will fulfill your desire.
Prabhupāda: In this condition I do not wish to live.
Pañca-draviḍa: The purpose of this medicine, though, Śrīla Prabhupāda, is to cure the condition.
Pañca-draviḍa: The purpose of this medicine is to cure this condition and bring you back to good health. It's not to continue in this bad condition but to bring you to a good condition. That is our hope, that you will regain your strength. There is an English saying that "The night is the most dark right before the dawn." So now you are feeling this way. We are hoping that very soon the medicine will take some effect, and then you'll begin to feel stronger.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I was thinking yesterday that... You had wanted to go all over the world once again, to strengthen our Society. I was just thinking that since you're not going, the Society is coming here to be with you. And simply by being with you everybody is becoming stronger. Simply by contacting you, taking care of you, helping to take care of you, they're all advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. And I think that anyone who has your association, Śrīla Prabhupāda, will never fall away from Kṛṣṇa consciousness. And you're also instructing and translating every day. For the first time, devotees are allowed to be near you while you're translating and hear you speak. And I don't think your existence has no value. It has so much value even now.
Pañca-draviḍa: If the devotees are staying away, it is not because you are poisonous; it is because we are poisonous. I know due to my sinful habits I am so poisonous that when I'm in your presence I feel so contaminated and unworthy of being in the sight of such a person as yourself that I feel like I should be in some corner hiding like some... I am so impure that I cannot stand in front of you. It is not because I feel that you are poisonous, Śrīla Prabhupāda. I am poisonous.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: That's very true, Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Pañca-draviḍa: You are a pure devotee of Kṛṣṇa, and your whole life is simply dedicated to the propagation of Kṛṣṇa's teachings all over the world, whereas my whole life is simply dedicated to sense gratification. So therefore, when I come in front of a person such as yourself, I feel ashamed.
Bhavānanda: It is true, Śrīla Prabhupāda, that if you lose your desire to remain here, then no medicine can be effective. But if you desire to remain, then the medicine can become effective.
Prabhupāda: No, in this way to remain---not desirable. Every day, crisis.
Bhavānanda: That is the crisis.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That is the puzzlement. [break]
Bhavānanda: ...we have to appraise that if Your Divine Grace leaves us, what will be the result both to ISKCON Society, to each of your disciples individually, and to the entire planet.
Prabhupāda: That I am thinking, that such a big Society, the aims and object may be dismantled. I am thinking from that vision.
Bhavānanda: Last May, when everyone assembled here in Vṛndāvana, then that... What was his name? Goswami came? Atula-kṛṣṇa Goswami. And after he left, you had apprised us of the fact that there is a movement to..., if you should leave, to take the Society from us, the properties. And you told us at that time, "You are all children. None of you has any intelligence." That was only five months back. We have not grown that much in five months. We're still children. You have always practically directed us in every one of our activities. And where we followed your instructions, there we have been successful. But because we are only children, sometimes we...
Prabhupāda: What is the time now?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What is the time?
Ātreya Ṛṣi: Eight o'clock.
Prabhupāda: And still it is dark?
Pañca-draviḍa: No, the drapes are closed.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: It's not dark, but it's not...
Bhavānanda: Sun is not up full.
Śatadhanya: Sun is not strong yet.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The sun only rises at about a quarter to seven now. It used to rise at like five-thirty. That's why ārati now is at five o'clock instead of four-fifteen.
Prabhupāda: So it is not possible to have parikramā now?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: If you desire, anything is possible, Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Haṁsadūta: It's not that cold outside. It's possible. It's possible.
Prabhupāda: If it is possible, why not do it?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Okay.
Bhavānanda: I'll go get that other [indistinct].
Prabhupāda: So you can bring some sweater.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, we'll give you warm clothing---sweater and hat. Just tell Upendra to come, Śatadhanya.
Prabhupāda: Sweater and cap.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes.
Pañca-draviḍa: For me, Śrīla Prabhupāda, the biggest puzzle is... I know nobody can understand the activities of a pure Vaiṣṇava such as yourself, but when I see you unhappy, I become very disturbed. To me that is the biggest puzzle, is to... I want to see you happy.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: If you keep trying, Śrīla Prabhupāda, to survive...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: If you continue to try to survive, then Kṛṣṇa will definitely fulfill your desire.
Prabhupāda: In this condition, how I can desire to survive?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You have to get some improvement first of all.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: There should be some improvement. Then desiring becomes easier. [indistinct background whispering] [to Upendra:] No.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Upendra says, "Do you want to first wash your face and teeth before going to the temple?"
Ātreya Ṛṣi: Śrīla Prabhupāda, last week one package was sent here, via Bombay, for Your Divine Grace, of fruit from the palace, from the king's palace in Tehran. And also there was a letter sent which... I don't know... It did not come.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, nothing came.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: The fruit came. It was the pomegranate and lemon.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Dayānanda brought it.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: No, before then.
Bhavānanda: The fruit came.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: And the letter wished you good health by the royal family.
Prabhupāda: No, preaching also, it is going on. I know that. Where is the cotton sweater?
Pañca-draviḍa: We brought one sweater from Peru, Śrīla Prabhupāda. [break] [loud kīrtana in temple as devotees greet Prabhupāda on parikramā]
Prabhupāda: I'm not tired.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: I am not tired.
Devotees: Jaya Śrīla Prabhupāda. [offering obeisances]
Prabhupāda: I am quite comfortable.
Trivikrama: We are also feeling refreshed.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So this parikramā can be gradually increased, Śrīla Prabhupāda. If you like, we can take you around every day, and even, if you like, sometime we can take you around Vṛndāvana.
Devotees: Jaya Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Today is also pūrṇimā, Mahārāja?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Tomorrow, I think.
Hari-śauri: Today is Rāsa-pūrṇimā.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: The auspicious.
Pañca-draviḍa: And tomorrow begins Kārttika.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: So Kārttika is the proper time for parikramā.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Tell the... [break] So my suggestion for parikramā last night...
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Is successful.
Prabhupāda: Yes. [laughs]
Bhavānanda: Whenever we follow your instructions, Śrīla Prabhupāda, we always meet with success.
Prabhupāda: So, when there is sunshine, if you take me up, and I'll remain in sunshine.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hmm. Okay. Today we'll begin that.
Prabhupāda: There is no need of lying down in one place.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: It will also be better, Śrīla Prabhupāda. There'll be more oxygen in the open air. [break]
Pañca-draviḍa: ...disciples are very excited now.
Prabhupāda: I am also excited.
Prabhupāda: I had no difficulty. You could circumambulate more.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: More.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: We weren't sure how you were feeling.
Prabhupāda: I was quite comfortable.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Going little slowly, Śrīla Prabhupāda? Going little slowly would be better? It was a little fast today.
Pañca-draviḍa: Go slower?
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Yes.
Bhavānanda: Śrīla Prabhupāda? Bhakti-caru has made some nice orange juice. Would you like to sit up for that? [break]
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: ...and everything.
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Yes.
Bhavānanda: I'd like to go and shave. May I be permitted to go?
Bhavānanda: I'd like to go and shave. [break]
Pañca-draviḍa: Śrīla Prabhupāda, on this pūrṇimā you look like a fresh lotus flower. [devotees chanting japa] [break]
Svarūpa Dāmodara: Kīrtana.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Kīrtana. Kīrtanīyaḥ sadā hariḥ [Cc. Ādi 17.31]. [break]
Prabhupāda: There is no harm, but if once is good, why twice?
Bhavānanda: Śatadhanya Mahārāja? The kavirāja said something to you about the dosage?
Śatadhanya: The kavirāja said that the dosage should be two times a day.
Bhavānanda: Did he say why?
Śatadhanya: Because the other kavirājas previously, the doses that they suggested were very large. So this kavirāja, he said they were too large. So this dose is quite smaller compared to the others. He said it should be done twice a day. See, this is only... Each dose is only two ratis. But the other kavirājas, they were even saying up to one tolā.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Not per day.
Prabhupāda: [laughing] Not one tolā.
Śatadhanya: They were saying some large...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, one tolā, not per day.
Prabhupāda: [laughing] That was wrongly inter... Nobody can... Anyway, let us see for some days, one.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Okay.
Bhavānanda: Bhakti-caru, Prabhupāda only wants to take the makara-dhvaja once a day, in the morning. How do you feel about that? Do you feel...?
Bhakti-caru: Whatever Śrīla Prabhupāda wants, that's... [break] If he wanted to have just once, that's...
Bhavānanda: He said if you desire to only have it once, it must be Kṛṣṇa's direction. [break]
Bhakti-caru: Śrīla Prabhupāda has taken 275 grams total---100 grams of the soup, 75 grams of that papaya, 100 grams of that orange juice. [break]
Svarūpa Dāmodara: It's Svarūpa Dāmodara. I don't know if this will be proper or not, but I got a telegram from family in Manipur saying that the grandfather expired, and so they want me to come back for few days to do the ceremonial rites. So do you think shall I go for a few days, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: It is necessary?
Svarūpa Dāmodara: It is not absolutely necessary.
Prabhupāda: Those who are engaged in Kṛṣṇa's service, they have no necessity for all this. Sarvātmanā yaḥ śaraṇaṁ śaraṇyaṁ parihṛtya kartam.
nāyam ṛṇī na kiṅkaro rājan
sarvātmanā yaḥ śaraṇaṁ śaraṇyaṁ
gato mukundaṁ parihṛtya kartam
Anyone who is fully engaged in Kṛṣṇa's service, he has no other duty. He has finished all other duties. Tepus tapas te [SB 3.33.7]. This is the injunction of the śāstra. He's no more anyone's servant, or he has got any duty to do---śaraṇaṁ śaraṇyam---because he has taken the shelter of the ultimate Supreme Person. This is the injunction of the śāstra. So this śrāddha ceremony is not required for a devotee fully surrendered to the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa. Gato mukundaṁ śaraṇaṁ śaraṇyam. Śaraṇyam: He is the only shelter. And who has taken shelter of Kṛṣṇa, he has no other duty. This is the śāstra. Yes. [break] You now give. [drinks] [break]
Bhavānanda: Prabhupāda just asked where it was.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Oh. Locked in the almirah. Locked in your almirah.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, because it's valuable. I wanted to make sure it was not lost or anything. I mean, this medicine is going to save your life, Śrīla Prabhupāda, so I consider it most valuable.
Prabhupāda: Bring one.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: You want some more medicine?
Bhavānanda: He wants to see the color. [break]
Prabhupāda: Bruises are here, but this is not? You see there.
Bhavānanda: The bruises? Where are you feeling them most? On your feet, Śrīla Prabhupāda, or your legs?
Pañca-draviḍa: He said legs.
Baradrāj: On both legs?
Baradrāj: There's maybe a mirror. He can...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Did you see it? Were you able to see just now? [turns Prabhupāda over]
Prabhupāda: Not like that.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Bring... There's a mirror on my trunk.
Prabhupāda: One dose.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes, it's very little.
Prabhupāda: That's all right. [break] Old kavirāja?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No, no. This is from the new kavirāja.
Prabhupāda: And what is this?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: This mirror?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: [laughs] No. I was just using this mirror to show you the medicine.
Baradrāj: Can you see it?
Prabhupāda: Oh, yes.
Bhavānanda: The kavirāja said because the gold is oxidized into gold sulphur... [break]
Prabhupāda: ...preparation, svarṇa-sindhura.
Prabhupāda: Not makara-dhvaja.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What?
Śatadhanya: That is not makara-dhvaja. It is.
Baradrāj: I think he's saying this medicine is svarṇa-sindhura.
Prabhupāda: Makara-dhvaja is also. That is... My father used to take.
Bhavānanda: Oh. Prabhupāda's father used to take makara-dhvaja.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Your father used to take that svarṇa-sindhura?
Prabhupāda: No, makara-dhvaja. The svarṇa-sindhura is cheaper.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That svarṇa-sindhura must be for people who do not have very much money.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: This makara-dhvaja is the rich man's medicine.
Baradrāj: Is it the same kind of medicine?
Baradrāj: The svarṇa-sindhura is also similar in effect, for medicine, as medicine?
Prabhupāda: That I do not know. [break] If I can continue this parikramā, that is spiritual cure. [break]
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Then we can enlarge the parikramā path. Can we take you some time all around Vṛndāvana?
Prabhupāda: Why not?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What about to Govardhana?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Rādhā-kuṇḍa.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: This is very, very nice weather now.
Brahmānanda: Yes, it's beautiful weather, fantastic weather.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: We will make a palanquin, special palanquin, you see, which will have a bed in it. It will be very nice. And it will have curtains. When you want, the curtains can come down or they can come up. And it will be full length, so you can recline very comfortably. And we will make a camp. We will go by foot all the way.
Prabhupāda: Very good idea. If I die then, it will be a great luck.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And if you live it will be also great luck.
Prabhupāda: Yes. Jīvo vā māro vā.
Trivikrama: For us it will be greater luck if you live.
Prabhupāda: Yes, I want also. What is that?
Bhavānanda: He was trying... The... [break]
Prabhupāda: ...parikramā was liven to them. Eh?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Trivikrama: Today's parikramā was very enthusiastic.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Yes. [break]
Prabhupāda: ...kramā you can increase.
Trivikrama: Must increase.
Prabhupāda: Then you have to make a stretcherlike bed?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Well, it won't be exactly like a stretcher. It will be more just like the great kings used to ride in. It will be a palanquin, but full length. It will be just like about half the size of this bed, the same as this bed but half as wide.
Ātreya Ṛṣi: How many people will carry?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Six people can carry. Four or six people. At least four men will carry it.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And we can pitch camp. We can go few miles, stop. And we don't have to come back here every day. It's not difficult.
Prabhupāda: Then you have to arrange for campment previously.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Arrange for...?
Bhavānanda: Campment beforehand.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Previously, ahead of time, yes. Or we could come back every day. The only thing I don't like about doing that, if we stay with someone else, then it is too much botheration for Your Divine Grace. I know that, because everyone will want darśana. My idea was to camp on the... Not to camp where there was any place, but to camp on our own, in the field or wherever. Bring some tents, set up the tent.
Prabhupāda: Not to advertise.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No. I don't want to advertise. And I was thinking not to stay at anybody else's temple. To stay on our own. Then no one will disturb.
Prabhupāda: Yes. All right.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Or we can go and bring your car and come back every day.
Prabhupāda: No. This camping is very...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Very nice. So shall we arrange for it?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Okay. [break] ...Śyāma-kuṇḍa, Govardhana, Barṣāṇā, Nandagrāma, Brahma-ghāṭa, all these places. Remember when we went bathing in that... I think it was Brahma-ghāṭa. You bathed. We will go there again. All around Vṛndāvana. See all the Deities of Vṛndāvana.
Prabhupāda: Very good idea.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And ecstatic kīrtana.
Bhavānanda: Perhaps it might be a good idea to begin at Rādhā-Dāmodara.
Prabhupāda: Hmm? Begin?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: He's saying we should also go to Rādhā-Dāmodara. Bhavānanda was saying we should start from there. As you started from there, so the parikramā start from there. First we will do parikramā of the Vṛndāvana area, local area. One day we can go on a... We can parikramā. It will take about three hours, the whole Vṛndāvana, you know, the local Vṛndāvana area?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Then, another day, we can go to some of the temples and see the Deities by parikramā. And then, when we've done that successfully and you're feeling fit from it, we will attempt the mahā-parikramā. Is that a good program?
Prabhupāda: Yes. [break] ...plastic mṛdaṅga?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Plastic mṛdaṅga. Should we get some? [aside:] He saw one in London. Do you want us to have plastic mṛdaṅgas for the parikramā?
Prabhupāda: No, just a sample.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Śrīdhara Swami in Hyderabad has one. [break] ...parikramā is successful, we can attempt the Māyāpur parikramā. That will also be very good, Śrīla Prabhupāda. And then, if that is successful, we will do a world parikramā, ISKCON parikramā. That means world parikramā. We will go to all of your temples around the world. That may be the sweetest parikramā of all, Śrīla Prabhupāda. [break]
Prabhupāda: I'll take little rest. [break] Makara-dhvaja will give strength. So for passing stool, whatever strength I have got, that will...
Bhavānanda: In the beginning, initially, when you start taking this medicine, I would think there would be some reaction within the body to something new like that before the body develops its tolerance. I don't think it's too serious at this point. [aside:] Śrīla Prabhupāda feels all hope is frustrated. The makara-dhvaja medicine is to give strength, but now he's passing stool, so all the strength he has is lost. At the same time, Śrīla Prabhupāda, you're taking a lot of liquid intake now. There has to be some stool. It's digested. You're taking almost a thousand milliliters a day, 960, 890, like that. So that's quite a large amount.
Bhakti-caru: Another thing is that this is a very strong medicine, and Bonamali Prabhu was hesitant to give it at this point because it was too strong for his...
Prabhupāda: Therefore I say stop it.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Stop it completely?
Bhakti-caru: Not even once a day, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: What is the use?
Bhavānanda: All hopes are frustrated.
Prabhupāda: Passing stool now. Cleanse. Making frustrated.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Why should you stop taking this medicine, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: What is the use?
Trivikrama: You've only taken it one time.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Twice. I don't understand why you say "What is the use?"
Prabhupāda: Use is that I have passed stool.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: But everyone passes stool.
Prabhupāda: [laughs] But everyone eats also.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Prabhupāda said, "Everyone eats also."
Prabhupāda: If there is no eating, then passing stool means whatever strength you get is gone.
Trivikrama: You feel weaker?
Prabhupāda: Certainly. Telegram?
Mādhava: Maybe the impurities are passing from Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Bhavānanda: Of course, Bonamali, he might have been hesitant to give the medicine because we're suspect that his medicine was even bona fide. He might have been avoiding giving it because it wouldn't work to begin with.
Prabhupāda: Bona fide or not bona fide.
Bhavānanda: Still, we all saw some positive signs. Of course, it might not have been from the medicine, but it is... You did appear stronger. You went on parikramā, you sat up.
Prabhupāda: No, parikramā I can... But, I mean to say, from medicinal point of view it is not at all hopeful. All is...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Not at all what, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: [indistinct] is there.
Bhavānanda: [indistinct whispered comments about diet changes] Also that Persian melon. We've been giving you that Persian melon juice. That is a diuretic. Let us not give that juice. Take one more... See how the night goes. In the morning take another dose of makara-dhvaja.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: I can't see that the makara-dhvaja is bad. I can see that you... I mean I don't see where we can conclude, Śrīla Prabhupāda, that because of the makara-dhvaja now you're passing stool.
Prabhupāda: So what?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: That I can't see, that conclusion. And I still say that there's a possibility that the effect of the medicine will build up over a day or two. After all, it is not even one full day yet since you first took the medicine. How can we reject it so quickly?
Prabhupāda: Because it's reacting differently.
Bhavānanda: We're saying, though, that it may not be the medicine. It may be at the same time that you took the medicine you also starting taking this fruit juice, new fruit juice, melon, which is known for causing a diuretic effect. So it may be that. We're suggesting that not to give that Persian melon juice. Tomorrow morning take makara-dhvaja again and see what happens then.
Bhavānanda: Baradrāj Prabhu was just telling me that he's noticed---he's been massaging your legs---that your legs and feet are warmer today than they were yesterday.
Baradrāj: This morning. And then when he had his medicine at night. Means there's energy.
Bhavānanda: I have noticed over the past three or four days that your feet have been cold. Extremities, your hands and your feet, have been very cold. Now that's a sign of strength. We feel that the change from the makara-dhvaja is going to be subtle, not so swift in terms of renewed vigor. Even the allopathic medicine... You took so much allopathic medicine, and you took that even more than you're willing to take this Āyurvedic medicine. That you took for three days. This you haven't even taken one full day. Of course, we're not placing all of our hopes on the medicine as such. We've been placing all of our prayers at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma.
Prabhupāda: No, that is the only hope. All hopes fail.
Bhavānanda: But then Kṛṣṇa did direct you within that dream to take this medicine. Just try one more day. If all hope is frustrated, then what is the loss if we take that medicine one more day?
Prabhupāda: That medicine take...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Śrīla Prabhupāda, were you hopeful about this medicine when you first took it?
Prabhupāda: Yes. I thought it will give me strength, but instead of strength, I am passing stool, so whatever strength is there... [end]