Room Conversation , London at Bhaktivedanta Manor , 1977-08-29
Indian devotee: [offers obeisances]
Prabhupāda: So, how are you?
Indian devotee: I am not well, actually, because neither materially nor spiritually there. I reckon I should go back, with your permission.
Indian devotee: And if you think... Because I was thinking that in my case it may be helpful in preaching there. But too long everything.
Prabhupāda: You are taking advantage of your work?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Are you taking advantage of your work?
Indian devotee: No, actually they are not able to understand what I am doing. So my supervisors... In the beginning, when I met you last time, at that time you said everything is okay, you can start typing those chapters. So I wrote two chapters. And then you said anything can happen, because in the area in which I work, nobody had worked before. And he was so sure.
Indian devotee: But then two professors, they disagreed with him, and thus, "It is not possible; you must repeat your results." So after my scholarship it finished in January after three years, they didn’t accept my scholarship. So I just continued by doing some part-time job, tried to maintain myself. But I couldn’t repeat my results ’til now. So then they have extended six months my visa. But I, actually I don’t think that they are able to do, because my furnace is not working, and they don’t know the reason. But they don’t want to take blame on themselves, and then, "Because you are not hard-working; that is why you have given up." So I was trying to do only that, because if I leave it, it won’t bring good name to ISKCON, and because they know that I am from Hare Kṛṣṇa movement. But now personally it is too much for me. It’s three and a half years now.
Prabhupāda: I don’t care for nonsense Ph.D.
Indian devotee: Do you think Ph.D. is not helpful in my preaching, then?
Prabhupāda: What will be the honor of one with Ph.D.? I am eating.
Indian devotee: But I want to translate something, Hindi books full time, and there is the things, so...
Prabhupāda: That is very good. I have written all these books not as Ph.D.---people are appreciating. Ṭhīk hai. London meṁ koi āyurvedic shop hai kyā? [Okay. Is there any Āyurvedic shop in London?]
Indian devotee: Jī hāṁ, do tīn shops, āyurvedic shop to nahīṁ, Indian shops haiṁ, jahāṁ vo, matlab, pichle sāl jo cyavan prāsh lāe the, vahīṁ se hai. Āpko kuch dāvā cāhie, to batāye. [Yes, there are two or three shops---not Āyurvedic, but Indian shops. That cyavan prāsh we brought for you last year was from there. If you need some medicine, just tell me.]
Prabhupāda: Kiskā hai vo cyavan prāsh? [Whose cyavan prāsh was that?]
Indian devotee: Āpne Zandu kā kahā thāśāyad? Zandu hai unke pās. Vo to mil hi jātā. Kahīṁ patā lagā le ki do tīn dukān haiṁ idhar. [You said that it was Zandu’s perhaps? They have Zandu’s. That is the one available there. I came to know that there are two or three shops in this area.]
Prabhupāda: Zandu kā bhāskar lavan milegā? [Is Zandu’s bhāskar salt available?]
Indian devotee: Cūrṇa, lavan Bhāskar cūrṇa, acchā hai, Ḍābar kā bhī. [They have bhāskar salt in powder. It is a good one. Dābar’s too.]
Indian devotee: Ḍābar kā. [Dābar’s.]
Prabhupāda: Ḍābar kā? [Dābar’s?]
Indian devotee: Jī. Kal ham pūch lete vo namak jo āpne śām ko kahā thā, namak ke liye kah rahe the ki peṭ wind, matlab peṭ meṁ dard ke liye helpful hai. Lavan bhāskar cūrṇa dekhte ki milt jātā hai yahā. Phone karte śām ko sayad. Agar Kṣīrodakaśāyī ghar pe ho, phone karke pūch lete. [Yes. Yesterday we asked about that salt you mentioned in the evening. They said that it is good for gas and pain in the stomach. I’ll see if bhāskar salt is available here. I may call in the evening. If Kṣīrodakaśāyī is at home, I will call and ask.]
Indian devotee: So then I can return back to India and stay?
Indian devotee: Then I can go back to India and stay? So I am thinking to go before that Bombay[?] temple opens, and after go to [indistinct] Vṛndāvana, next month.
Prabhupāda: Idhar nahīṁ rah saktā? [You cannot live here?]
Indian devotee: Yahāṁ pe? Yadi ājñā deṁ, main cāhtā ki Hindī meṁ kām karnā hai, to India meṁ jāte hī. Aur dūsrā ye hai ki, matlab, mātā pitā Vṛndāvan meṁ hī haiṁ, kyonki ham to rahnā mandir meṁ hī cāhte haiṁ. Yadi āp ājñā deṁ, full-time devotee banāeṁ. [Here? If you permit me, I wish that if I am going to do a work in Hindi, then let me do it after going to India. Another thing is that my parents are in Vṛndāvana, and I wish to live in the temple there. If you give me permission, I’ll become a full-time devotee.]
Prabhupāda: In India, [indistinct] country India, disgusted.
Indian devotee: Yes.
Prabhupāda: I am doing such a great work, and they are suspecting that I have brought some CIA.
Indian devotee: I just read that news in that Hindi newspaper here in which they print that in Nadia they have got themselves a Kṛṣṇa conscious āśrama for CIA, and Bhavananda, he worked in high-portal rank in Vietnam, and all this. The Communist people, they are against us. So they are... The government should try to encourage our movement, rather than trying to stop it.
Prabhupāda: I have so much disgust that I don’t wish to return to India. I have got enough people to work here in Europe and America. Why shall I protect myself from these obstacles offered by government? A different energy is lost. Then, they are so foolish government servants. Recently they have asked me for an explanation = "You have acquired some residential land, so explain, or we shall punish." Agricultural land in Māyāpur, say about two, three bighās, we have made a pavilion for prasādam distribution. What will be produced for two and three bighās land? What will be produced?
Indian lady: Nothing.
Prabhupāda: Say practically, how many rice will be produced in two bighās or three bighās of land?
Indian devotee: Well, as compared to even the amount [indistinct], I don’t have any [indistinct].
Prabhupāda: Say about thirty mounds rice. So thirty mounds rice, how many people can you feed throughout the whole year? Hmm? And we are preparing thirty mounds of rice every week. So without any production they are eating ready-made food, three thousand per week. So how many people are feeding?
Indian devotee: I couldn’t say [indistinct].
Prabhupāda: Throughout the whole year? How many?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Three thousand per week, fifty-two weeks.
Indian devotee: One hundred and fifty-six.
Devotee: One hundred and fifty-six thousand.
Indian devotee: So why not government see this, that we’re giving something?
Prabhupāda: I am just speaking, all the government officers are rascals. They have no common sense. Suppose stopping for a few thousand, not over a hundred, and we’re feeding so many thousands. So what is the loss there? I am asking explanation. They have stolen... Such government men are... [makes sound of disgust]
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Harassment. That’s their only business is to harass, right?
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: And take money.
Indian devotee: But I mean should we protest against and fight against them and...?
Prabhupāda: How can I protest them? It is folly to be wise to where ignorance is bliss. So many rascal government servants, and their determination is to obstacles, put obstacles in this movement. It will be impossible to build. My best energies are lost.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: What, Śrīla Prabhupāda?
Prabhupāda: My best energy...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hmm.
Prabhupāda: ...is lost there. They are always putting some obstacles.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hmm.
Prabhupāda: They are under bank manager...
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: Hmm. Like what happened in Juhu, how much energy you had to expend simply in the building of one project. How much? No one in their whole life could have expended that much energy that you spent there.
Prabhupāda: So considering all these points from the very beginning, their suspicion and putting obstacles, I have no more desire to return back to... It is my heart’s desire. Not the least desire to go back to India again.
Indian devotee: But how can we spread this Kṛṣṇa consciousness there? In India also we need it.
Prabhupāda: Oh, whatever I have done is done; now do. But I do not wish to return back to be governed by these nasty laws. Most nasty. And now I can live here very comfortably. I can live in America very comfortably. Finished. In India, oh, they have put me into so much uncomfortable position that sometimes I cried. They do not have to say [indistinct]. So why this cut, cut? It is not [indistinct]. By such treatment I have lost my health. [almost crying]
Indian devotee: [indistinct] Last year which I have saw and just compared to this, I couldn’t believe them from the report.
Prabhupāda: I can die in London. [break] But anyone who is transcendental meditator, everyone is a rascal, magician[?]. They do not know what is God, what is bhakti, how to perform it. So cent percent I am disgusted. I do not wish to return to India any more. For the next---next is death. In the morning when I sit down, there are nice devotees chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa. I have seen. Rādhā-Gokulānanda. I am svāmī; if I die in London, that is my great fortune. Why should I return to India, to feel always botheration, anxiety? Whatever I have done, I have given my will and purpose of honor; you try and maintain it. Otherwise I have no desire---nothing. I have no such sentiment, "This is my country, this is my..." If I would have been driven by such sentiment, nobody leaves Vṛndāvana in this condition of life. I have no special love for India. I am not that materialistic, nationalist or [indistinct].
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: It is a pleasure to be here because of the devotion. It is... The devotion is everywhere, all of these devotees.
Prabhupāda: There are so many nice devotees here. I am so much pleased how the boys and girls are enjoying spiritual life, dancing wonderful. Here also the Indians are not coming.
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: No.
Prabhupāda: So why shall I have a special affection for the India? [coughs]
Tamāla Kṛṣṇa: The last seven or eight... The last six or seven years you have labored so hard in India with unbelievable obstacles in each place---in Māyāpur, in Bombay, in Hyderabad, in Vṛndāvana. Everywhere so much opposition. I don’t think the American government ever gave any such opposition.
Prabhupāda: They are civilized. Nasty or third-class, fourth-class men. They have no common sense with such motives. Even if we stopped feeding a few hundred men, we’re giving regularly prasādam for so many lakhs of people, and still they’re asking explanation, "Why you are...?" Such, I mean, nasty people are in the government. And they are on the heads of the government. How can you expect good behavior from them?
Indian devotee: Do you give me permission to return to India, then? Because I am confused what to do, but now I am sure I can go back again and just give up... [break] [end]